Slut Shaming

Reputations and Sex: Ending Slut Shaming

In most regions across the world, there are strong societal and familial penalties that face women who enjoy their sexuality outside of wedlock. Even in more progressive countries, many women will not initiate sex because of slut shaming. And because most cultures still expect men to the initiators, any female who wishes to enjoy her sexuality will often be overwhelmed.

The obsession with female purity has horrifying effects on all genders, with serious consequences in the U.S. as well as worldwide. Virginity pledges are a common aspect of many Christian faiths, with young men and women promising to remain abstinent until marriage. While not a harmful practice in of itself, these pledges tie virginity to purity and worthiness, with sex associated with something dirty and wrong. This creates problems later on in life, when women are unable to enjoy sex even after marriage, so out of touch with their bodies that they cannot even instruct their partner on how to help them feel pleasure.

The weight of purity becomes more dangerous when women are killed by partners for infidelity or assumed infidelity; overall, over three women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends every day in America. Indeed, in many countries, adultery is still considered a crime that comes with serious punishment, and more often than not, the law tilts in favor of the man.

Forced on a purity pedestal, women grow up knowing little about their own bodies, what pleases them, and how to stay healthy and safe. Sexual health, including contraception and access to abortion, is far from widely available, and the focus on abstinence in American schools means that many women are ignorant of their own anatomy and what pleasures them due to abstinence focus on avoiding sex, and therefore a pleasure, altogether. On top of that, female pleasure is rarely discussed in society, whether it in casual conversation or in the media. Movie ratings are disturbingly more lenient with depicting sexual violence against women than sexual pleasure experienced by women, a sad reflection of American values in regards to its female population.

Slutwalk Portland on Sesta Fosta

Slutwalk Portland on SESTA FOSTA

Most societies place emphasis on women looking attractive so they can attract men. But not to be proactive in pursuing a male. This has an effect of disempowering women in that they are perceived as passive desirable objects to be pursued by men rather than empowered beings who can choose who they want.

When a female chooses the person she likes it allows her more control and is more empowering than just being attractive ‘bait’ attracting predatory men.

Many women agree intellectually that women should be allowed to be more proactive. The few who do it are often amazed by the results.

But being proactive for a female is very daunting. Many women who were proactive, report that they were sometimes judged by males and even fellow females as a ‘slut’.

There are very few places where the old double standards don’t apply.

so that is why it is also such a feminist movement for sexually empowered women! Where else can a lady have two or more lovers?

We see that there are often fewer women of color in sex-positive events. One reason why is that many women of color come from religious and cultural backgrounds that are even more patriarchal, traditional and sex-negative than Western culture.

So for them, slut shaming is not just about reputation. It can have real life or death consequences if a woman from a traditional background is deemed a ‘slut’.

In the past, it was not always like that. There are a few examples of tribal societies that were more Matriarchal and sex-positive for women. However, they were few and far between.

Sex positive feminism is an excellent tool for ending slut-shaming!

There are men who do not practice the ‘double standard’. Men who understand that strong, equal women are some of the most amazing lovers because whatever they do in bed is something they WANT to do. This is different from so many women in patriarchal cultures who have sex because it is their DUTY.

Discussion Group Related Topics:

  • Slut shaming in different communities. Gay/Bi AIDS.
  • Women who shame other women.
  • Slut shaming in the workplace. Cannot talk about sexual experiences in the workplace.
  • Having big breasts can cause slut-shaming.
  • Personal self-reflected slut-shaming.
  • Personal guilt based on slut-shaming.

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